The Voice Within

Darn, I hate this day.


My English teacher kept on borrowing my USB from me for days. Now I badly need it but then I forgot to ask him to return it to me. ****. I know that he is busy these days, but seriously, there is what you call "responsibility." Everytime I want my USB back, I go to his office and ask it from him. The only time he went to me and returned my USB to me (duh.. he was the one who approached me) was last periodical examinations. It took about 1 or 2 days (not sure) before he got to return it to me... He didn't even inform me that he lent my USB to another person at that time. I only knew that he lent it to someone, is because I saw that "someone" having my USB . (Yeah... right. Lending something that is not yours to another person. wtf?). Good thing that he lent it to a friend of mine... 'coz if it was just a nobody to me, damn, I'd really get pissed.


Then after recess, I was surprised that our Physics teacher went in our classroom (it was supposed to be our Chemistry). She told us that she somehow switched time with our Chemistry teacher. At that time, I received the bad news that I expected. I got a grade lower than 85 (for the first time in my entire life) but not a line of seven. Because of this, I'm no longer included in the honor pupils. Shit!!!


Then the next subject comes... Biotechnology. Guess what? More time borrowing. We had Chemistry instead of Biotechnology and still had Chemistry at our supposed to be Chemistry time (instead of Physics). Darn, two hours = two lessons + a lot of seatworks (really, "a lot!!!"). Well, at that time, I looked at the bright side and thought that, "At least we can get to master this topic because of the exercises." Then again, bad news. Our teacher didn't seem contented of the tortures he gave so he gave us "a lot" of homeworks; not to mention that it wasn't taught to us yet.


Then by dismissal, our school had this so-called gates by the stairs. They say that it was meant to lock-up students like us. (Overstaying pupils who d not go down at once...blah3x). Well, we had our adviser by our side at that time so we were able to stay longer in cleaning our classroom.


On the way home, I was not in the good mood due to my boyfriend's "he knows what it is and I'm not going to mention it." Knowing his attitude, I just shut up though I spoke few words, still I wasn't able to tell him what I was thinking and what I wanted to say. I find the things that he have been telling me -- as a response; quite different from what I wanted him to know. By that time, all I could do is a big sigh and just let him say all the things that he would like to utter. Well, though I found myself cold to him at that time, I still think that it was better than if I would speak. 'Coz if I did, it might just start up a fight. *sigh*


Now I'm here, in front of my computer; typing; losing interest in studying; not in the mood to start doing my assignments; not in the mood to sleep; getting very serious about stuff; loathing people; loathing the altruism I showed to people; regretting stuff; doubting myself; playing with black nail polish; still haven't spoke a word (last time I spoke was when I talked to a tricycle driver on my way home); bored; wanting for more black stuff; thinking; not in the mood to do anything but hate the things around me; stay at one corner of my room -- alone, people not seeing and talking to me.