Depression

I'm done with some of my assignments and now I don't feel like doing some more.

*Sigh* I have been feeling so depressed since yesterday. I feel so lonely, so sad, so alone, so dumb, so stupid, so... pathetic. I despise myself right now...

In school, there is at least one subject wherein I would feel sleepy. But now, I didn't even felt bored nor sleepy in class. All I felt was... hmm... dunno. I felt so empty.

One of my classmates even noticed that I wasn't myself today. He asked me why do I look so sad and am I okay? I just answered, "I'm fine. I'm just bored." Today I forced myself to smile in front of everyone I knew in school and act like I am fine and happy. I did my best to try to laugh in class with my seatmate, to have fun with my friends, and to keep my feelings (sad) from my boyfriend (I'm sorry...).

I really feel so bad and I can't even type my reasons here. Though I know that deep inside me, I know the reason why I'm like this right now.

*Sigh* Now I'm here in my room, and still haven't spoken a word since I arrived home.