Loathing and Penchant Reality

Darkened eyes, eyebrows meet.
The young girl stares, mad.
Her fist, clenched.Teeth, grinding.
Blood dripping with the taste of envy
Leviathan sat beside her
Misanthrope enveloped her
She sought comfort amongst the dark ones
She found home.

Save her! Save her!
Flames in her eyes, dreadful.
Seek the inside, misery.
She is in need of rescue
Only to be saved by virtue
Sublimation. Denial. Supression.
Leviathan's Daughter has no escape
Screaming, this is not my fate!

This girl was once Jhudiel's
Forgotten, she became Leviathan's.
Ignorance. Neglect. Misjudgement
Forgiveness is no more of an option
The wrong path towards salvation
Mislead by the precious illusion
Nothing more but a demon.
Death has come, to seek the Phantasm

After testing the panels in school, my team went back to our building. At that time, when we reached the second floor, there were seniors who were cursing and making noise. Let's just say that someone in our school, who is of high rank, cancelled something. After a few minutes, the news was heard at the other sections and the whole fourth year level went furious. Most sections made their section's chairs upside down and filled their blackboard with curses. The fourth year students planned to go on strike by not going to school the following days and by planning to make/do something.

By dismissal time, the students (4th year) did not go home right away. Most stayed at the school grounds. The student prefect was trying to make us leave the campus but he was not able to do so. The students were still furious. By that time, the only thing that some school staff could do was to take videos of what we were doing and what we did.

The thing that happened made the students furious but that does not mean that the seniors got mad just because of one incident. It was just something that triggered the "hatred" that the seniors were keeping inside their hearts.

After leaving the quadrangle, the seniors had a meeting at the ampitheatre. The meeting was not finished well but the meeting continued at the conference in yahoo! messenger.

The students ended up with a plan to go to school and talk to the principal about their complaints.

***

After leaving the ampitheathre, we went to Nikki's house to cool down. We ate there, played darts, etc.. When I got there, her room changed. Everything was in pink!! Outside, you'll see a pink door with hello kitty on it. When you enter, you will see things in pink! Normal girls would probably like it. As for me, I love black!!!

Ok, so I’m gothic for years already. I love black and I’m quite different from most people. Yet, being a gothic person does not mean that I am an anti-Christ or a Satanist. …though I must say that some Goths are. (I just got pissed by some people who keep repeating that we are wicked and stuff that’s why I’m making this Blog post). One of the bands that I listen to is Within Temptation. It is gothic band and I love them. P.S. Gothic genre is very and way different from metal. I hope you listen to the song instead of just reading the lyrics:




The Truth beneath the Rose by Within Temptation



Give me strength to face the truth, the doubt within my soul
No longer I can justify the bloodshed in his name
Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose?
Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven´s door


I believed it would justify the means
It had a hold over me


Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast
It is the darker side of me
The veil of my dreams deceived all I have seen
Forgive me for what I have been
Forgive me my sins


Pray for me cause I have lost my faith in holy wars
Is paradise denied to me cause I can´t take no more
Has darkness taken over me, consumed my mortal soul
All my virtues sacrificed, can Heaven be so cruel?


I believed it would justify the means
It had a hold over me


Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast
It is the darker side of me
The veil of my dreams deceived all I have seen
Forgive me for what I have been
Forgive me my sins


I´m hoping, I´m praying
I won´t get lost between two worlds
For all I have seen the truth lies in between
Give me the strength to face the wrong that I have done
Now that I know the darkest side of me


How can blood be our salvation
And justify the pain that we have caused throughout the times
Will I learn what´s truly sacred?
Will I redeem my soul, will truth set me free?


Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast
It is the darker side of me
The veil of my dreams deceived all I have seen
Forgive me for what I have been
Forgive me my sins

My schedule is hectic until the end of March. This week, we will be having our third periodical examination. Next week, we have to finish our solar boat. I've heard rumors that our Zambales trip will be moved on the 29th of January (it will be for three days). If that happens, I'm going to find someone who would substitute me for the solar boat race because I would prefer going to Zambales. If not, thank God! On January 31, I have an entrance exam on a certain college. On February 6, it would be Aaron's concert and he is asking me to come. I'm still not sure because I usually compete on astronomy quiz bees every second and third week of February at the Philippine Astronomical Society and University of the Philippines AstroSoc. Not to mention that I don't feel like going there.. and... yeah.. spend money. Our prom was rumored to be on February 20. My boyfriend's prom is on the 21st of February and he asked me to be his prom date since outsiders are allowed in La Salle (if my mom would allow me, then it would be two consecutive proms). Not to mention that there is this quiz bee thing so I'm still coordinating with my coach if he is going to find someone to train and replace me because of my hectic schedule (and I might not have time to review anymore) or I have to cope up with every thing (including studying astronomy while preparing for proms and exams) that is happening in my life and organize them. Sigh... my activities, as far as I could see them in my calendar, are overlapping already. It was also said that our final examinations are on the third (or was it last?) week of February. By March, I have to finish my reserved digital artworks for Maan, Kim, and Jenn's birthday. These girls are requesting me to make them a photomosaic. I don't know it I could finish the mosaics on time. (Again, not to mention that their birthdays are also consecutive). I was able to give Kim her photocropped wallpaper (the one wherein she is reading Breaking Dawn) just days ago so I only have to make her a photomosaic (if I could finish it) and maybe two new wallpapers. For Maan, 1 photomosaic, 1 wallpaper, 1 photocropped pic; and for Jenn, 1 photocropped pic, 1 photomosaic, and 1 wallpaper. .. and I'm also planning to give a general bday banner for them. (Total: ten artworks)... I guess I won't be able to make extra wallpapers. Oh.. I forgot, two of my cousins will also be having their birthday this March. Sigh.. and I have an interview this February for my summer job application. Err... and there are still more things to come. WAAAAHHH!!!!!! And yeah, by April, it's our graduation, and also, summer training for the COCCs (as a CAT officer,we might be asked to come to school and train these aspirants), and yay! summer job. ...and yeah, our clan's summer camp (for Salonga youths only. harhar... no parents) in Hala-Hala. hehe...

Time came and we couldn't grasp, but all had its turn to change its mind. It's hard making decisions upon things that's hard to decide on. It's hard to accept when things are unacceptable...
It's crucial and deadly, life is full of ironies and traps.

Hmmm...? What the hell am I saying anyway?

It's lunch break and I'm in the lab at school, I can't think of something very productive lately. My focus is drawn to something else. We really never know when things come then suddenly take away something from us, it's a rapist by surprise who takes virginity gone forever.
Worst it's a seed that grows to a very humongous tree of regrets and pain...

Damn... I can't really think of something good to tell, I can't stop my hands from typing such things...
I don't know if what I'm typing here is what I want to express...

I'm already happy by how things go their way, but there are still things we can't avoid, as my girlfriend always say, "inevitable."

I'm kinda tense or disturbed, my hands are cold, I'm shaking, I'm quite catching my breath, and my chest pounds hasty...

And now there's a huge bulldog beside me here in the lab, using a unit...

Hmmm....?

At this instance, I'm thinking how to overcome and prepare for the more "inevitable" that would likely bombard again...

Well, I'm distracted by the huge bulldog beside me. Sheesh, I can't think of what to type now...
And the bulldog is typing something on his blog, too... I wonder, I wonder...

I'm out of myself, no, well... uhmm...

I'll just continue next time when there's more time... Lunch break is over...